I’m walking back, with a couple Dewar
I see that redhead standing there, right at your arm
She sees me and bolts for the door
And I’m pretty sure that I’ve been here before
So I’m like, “heyyyy, what just happened there?” And you’re like, “I don’t know,”
“That bitch is crazy. I think she followed me.
She practically haunts me. And I don’t know why.
That bitch is crazy. She don’t even know me.
It’s just a coincidence, and those happen all the time.”
Sunday morning, down at the park.
You’re fixing your hair, and I’m walking your dog.
And there’s this blonde running up waving both her arms.
You turn around and we gotta go.
Your movies are late. You left your phone.
And I’m like, “Did she just call you Baby?” And you’re like, “Nope.”
“That bitch is crazy. I think we saw her on Maury.
Maybe one time she met me but she thinks I’m somebody else
That bitch is crazy. Cmon baby you know me.
I can’t believe you’d accuse me. I mean, what the hell.
I wish you’d open up your heart and see what a great guy I am
I’m only just beginning to start to try to finally trust again
And you’re just the perfect girl for me, if you can see beyond their lies.
Besides, baby, who you gonna believe: me? Or your lying eyes?
Monday morning, I’m very blue
And resolving again to make it all up to you.
I’ll buy you a watch or a shirt or a trip to peru.
But sometimes I wonder, late, late at night
If my sister was wrong and my mama was right
Cuz I told her some of this and she was like, “Whoa,”
“That bitch is crazy. She’ll believe anything.
Just bat your eyes dear, and she goes completely besot.
That bitch is crazy, she probably needs therapy.
She seems such a smart girl, with a lot on the ball. But she’s not.”
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